How do you deal with being prejudged?

By jaybird123 Latest Activity January 25, 2011 at 1:05 pm Views 13,838 Replies 8 Likes 1

jaybird123

I have had first grandmal when I was 23 years old. That was 24 years ago. I had grandmals as well as complex partail. With many different medicines my grandmal where lessoned but the complex partail are still with me. In college I had friends that helped me out and met my husband. But seizure got worse and had my left temperal lobe and left hippocampus removed. My seizures stopped completely. Then the complex partials came back. I have seizure on both sides so I had a VNS put in. Enough history! I use to have 18 - 25 siezures a day to 3 -6 a month. Be thankful I know but I would like to help pay bills. I now have a daughter in college. I am a music teacher and was only able to teach one year. How do you guys deal with people that look at your seizures before anything else. Small town I live in so everyone know everyone. "She has seizures so she can't …" what ever. Advice please because I close myself up and my boy is graduating and my youngest is saying stop laying around. My daughter never comes home. Never done this before thanks if you read this far. Aprecaite if you do reply. Thank, Jaybird

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Replies (8 replies)

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  • Dr Gary
    Dr GaryCA March 7, 2011 at 9:49 pm   

    HI!

    I just want to offer you some support as well as to second what you have heard from others. For better or worse, we have absolutely no control over what other people say, think or do. There are a lot of uneducated people out there, some are willing to listen and learn, and others aren't

    All we can do is focus on doing the absolute best to take care of ourselves and the people we care about. That's the best you can possibly do and it's also a lot!

    You have had a lot of challenges in your life, and you have done an amazing job of overcoming them and raising wonderful children. Give yourself credit for being an overcomer! And take things one step at a time, at your own pace.

    Gary

  • thegizzard
    thegizzard January 31, 2011 at 5:22 am   

    I also had my first grand mal in my twenties. They thought at first it was a brain tumor, but then saw that it was"only" epilepsy. Beats a brain tumor, I guess! But "only" epilepsy? My life has never been the same. I was able to work for a while, but then the seizures took over, and have been permanently disabled. At least from the point of view of being able to hold a job! I am active in church, and get out to do things as often as possible. The point is, I do have an active and constructive life. While I cannot work (stress brings on my seizures), there are so many things I can do! You have to live life, not be a spectator. But everybody's situation is different. I can still shop (oh, boy, can I shop!) I can be active on the net (like here, sharing experiences)—and that really helps a lot, and I've written a book about my experiences with seizures and pseudoseizures. So don't limit yourself!

  • "LIL" Dolly
    "LIL" Dolly January 27, 2011 at 5:30 pm   

    I just recently starteted to have partial seizures an they are no fun at all

    Signed Gwen

  • jaybird123
    jaybird123 January 27, 2011 at 11:43 am   

    Thanks ladies. This helped lift the spirts to hear from others. My family just say get up and stop laying around your not dead yet.

  • riverkings
    riverkings January 27, 2011 at 9:56 am   

    I agree with jralphs. It is so important to know for ourselves that we are capable no matter what anyone else thinks. It makes me so angry when people don't bother to even try to get to know the situation before judging someone and the best thing you can do is prove them wrong. Not for their sake but for your own and as an example for your daughters. Show them that no matter what the challenge may be, if you believe in yourself enough, you can be a winner.

  • Jeanette Terry
    Jeanette Terry January 26, 2011 at 2:32 pm   

    The best advice that I could give is to prove them wrong. Sure you are still going to have seizures, but live life to the fullest and prove to everyone that you can do things despite your seizures. I think that the reason that people judge in the first place is because they don't know enough about it. I think it is that way with anything in life. People will judge something until they understand it.

  • VJ 918
    VJ 918 July 14, 2011 at 12:12 pm   

    Hi!
    My name is Val. I have had Epilepsy since I was 7 years old. I also have RA, Obesity, Chronic Bronchitis, and Breast Cancer in my left breast.
    I have been judged by my dad, mom, brothers and sisters. Plus, people around me.
    I use to feel like you. I just wanted to give up on life. But, I didn't.
    I started writting poems on how I feel inside. Then I started writting short stories. Now, I have written books and they sit on my computer. I don't have the money to get them published.
    I love music. I'm in the choir at church. I enjoy singing praises to my Lord.
    I have heard people say, that I'm demon possessed, a witch, I'm contagious, a whale on the beach and etc.
    I have two children that won't speak to me. I do have a husband and a 20 year old son who are there for me. It doesn't bother them.
    To me people don't realize what they are missing out on. They are missing out on a "Loving, caring, person who would be there for them no matter what the situation is." It's their loss, not yours.
    I have God. God, has always been there by my side when I need someone to talk too. I have my husband and my son. It took sitting down with my husband and son and reaching my health problems and asking a lot of questions. Plus, answering a lot of questions. When people and even family can understand what the problem is and what they can do, they normally are willing to help out. Sometimes people just don't want to know.
    Sweetie don't give up on yourself and others. God, loves you and I love you! Plus, everybody here cares about you. You have a lot to offer people here and other places. All of us have challenges that we have to face everyday. Those challenges make us want to work harder to complete what we are doing for the day. Our challenges make us a stronger person inside, and a lot smarter also.
    I'm now 55 years old, soon to be 56 years old. I'm chose not to let those who don't like me run my life. I let God, run my life and I keep on going forward. I'm still learning new things everyday. I wake up each morning thanking God, and asking Him what new thing am I going to learn today?
    I've learned to take the negative in my life and turn it into a positive. I joke around, have fun with my husband and son. I don't dwell on people judging me. They aren't worth my time and energy. Yes, it does hurt inside. I won't lie to you. All I do is pray for them and let God, handle them.
    Your husband wants to be a part of your life, but doesn't know what he can do for you. Teach him and have fun doing it. Enjoy your husband and yourself together. Let him teach you new things to do. Like going fishing. I still have to have my husband put the worm on the hook and take the fish off, of the hook. The thing is we are spending time together. Plus, it's peaceful.
    Val

  • VJ 918
    VJ 918 July 14, 2011 at 12:12 pm   

    Hi!
    My name is Val. I have had Epilepsy since I was 7 years old. I also have RA, Obesity, Chronic Bronchitis, and Breast Cancer in my left breast.
    I have been judged by my dad, mom, brothers and sisters. Plus, people around me.
    I use to feel like you. I just wanted to give up on life. But, I didn't.
    I started writting poems on how I feel inside. Then I started writting short stories. Now, I have written books and they sit on my computer. I don't have the money to get them published.
    I love music. I'm in the choir at church. I enjoy singing praises to my Lord.
    I have heard people say, that I'm demon possessed, a witch, I'm contagious, a whale on the beach and etc.
    I have two children that won't speak to me. I do have a husband and a 20 year old son who are there for me. It doesn't bother them.
    To me people don't realize what they are missing out on. They are missing out on a "Loving, caring, person who would be there for them no matter what the situation is." It's their loss, not yours.
    I have God. God, has always been there by my side when I need someone to talk too. I have my husband and my son. It took sitting down with my husband and son and reaching my health problems and asking a lot of questions. Plus, answering a lot of questions. When people and even family can understand what the problem is and what they can do, they normally are willing to help out. Sometimes people just don't want to know.
    Sweetie don't give up on yourself and others. God, loves you and I love you! Plus, everybody here cares about you. You have a lot to offer people here and other places. All of us have challenges that we have to face everyday. Those challenges make us want to work harder to complete what we are doing for the day. Our challenges make us a stronger person inside, and a lot smarter also.
    I'm now 55 years old, soon to be 56 years old. I'm chose not to let those who don't like me run my life. I let God, run my life and I keep on going forward. I'm still learning new things everyday. I wake up each morning thanking God, and asking Him what new thing am I going to learn today?
    I've learned to take the negative in my life and turn it into a positive. I joke around, have fun with my husband and son. I don't dwell on people judging me. They aren't worth my time and energy. Yes, it does hurt inside. I won't lie to you. All I do is pray for them and let God, handle them.
    Your husband wants to be a part of your life, but doesn't know what he can do for you. Teach him and have fun doing it. Enjoy your husband and yourself together. Let him teach you new things to do. Like going fishing. I still have to have my husband put the worm on the hook and take the fish off, of the hook. The thing is we are spending time together. Plus, it's peaceful.
    Val

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